How to tell if a coach's intensity is productive (or just loud)
Watch the players' response, not just whether the coach is loud
If you’ve been watching NCAA basketball this month, you’ve seen it.
Coaches getting intense with players. Nose-to-nose conversations. Voices raised. Standards enforced in real time.
And like always, people had opinions.
“Too intense.” “Not how you coach anymore.” “You can’t talk to players like that.”
But here’s what the viral clips don’t show: whether that intensity actually connects with the players or just isolates the coach.
You can’t tell from a 10-second video whether Brenda Frese’s moment with Oluchi Okananwa was productive coaching or just yelling. You need context. You need to see the relationship. You need to watch how the players respond.
And if you’re a recruit evaluating programs, that’s exactly what you should be watching.
Steve Magness wrote an excellent breakdown of Brenda Frese's coaching moment — how she disrupted Okananwa's spiral with eye contact, belief, and agency. It's worth reading.
But as a college coach, I want to add something Steve didn't address: what happens when you're evaluating a coach and you don't have that full context yet.
What productive intensity looks like
When you’re on a campus visit, you’ll watch practice. You’ll see the coach bring intensity at some point - corrections, standards being enforced, maybe some raised voices.
Many recruits watch the coach and think: “Is she too intense for me? Could I handle that?”
That’s the wrong question.
The right question is: “Do the players respond to that intensity, or do they retreat from it?”
Because intensity isn’t the problem. Disconnected intensity is.
Watch the players’ body language when the coach brings intensity.
Do they lock in and refocus? Or do their shoulders drop and their eyes go elsewhere?
When the coach corrects someone’s positioning, does that player adjust immediately? Or does she nod and keep doing the same thing?
After an intense moment, does the energy in practice lift or flatten?
These signals tell you whether the intensity connects or isolates.
The conversation that reveals everything
After practice, when you meet with current players, pay attention to how they talk about their coach.
Not the rehearsed answers they give when coaches are in the room. The real conversation when it’s just you and them.
Do they say “She’s tough but fair” or do they say “She just yells at everyone”?
Do they talk about specific things they’ve learned, or do they talk about walking on eggshells?
Do they speak with respect, or do they speak with resignation?
The players who thrive under intense coaching will tell you what makes it work: “He pushes us, but he cares about us, and shows it in how he connects with us outside hockey.” “She’s hard on the stuff that matters - effort, communication, being where you’re supposed to be.” “When he corrects you, it’s because he’s trying to make you better, not because he’s mad.”
The players who are surviving, not thriving, will tell you a different story: “She has her favorites.” “Nothing you do is ever good enough.” “She doesn’t really know us.”
The red flags you can’t ignore
Here’s what should concern you during a visit:
Players go silent when asked about their coach. Not “she’s great” rehearsed responses - actual silence. Long pauses. Careful wording. That tells you something.
Players can’t give specific examples of what they’ve learned. If they can’t articulate what makes their coach effective beyond “she knows the game,” that’s a gap.
The coach dominates every conversation. During your visit, do players get to talk? Or does the coach answer every question, interrupt their responses, speak for them?
Current players look exhausted, not energized. There’s a difference between the tiredness that comes from working hard and the weariness that comes from being beaten down.
Players don’t connect with each other. Watch how they interact before and after practice. Do they joke around, support each other, communicate freely? Or do they keep their heads down and scatter as soon as practice ends?
These aren’t about whether the coach is intense or calm. They’re about whether the intensity - however much or little there is - actually serves the players.
Why this matters for you
College coaches are going to be intense about controllable things.
Your effort level. Your communication. Your positioning. Whether you’re where you’re supposed to be when you’re supposed to be there.
These are non-negotiables. If you can’t handle direct feedback about the controllables, you’ll struggle in college hockey.
After a clinic on transition defense, where the players looked tired after a deliberately chaotic, high-intensity session, my message to the group was simple: “If you didn’t enjoy this, D1 field hockey may not be for you.”
But there’s a difference between intensity that’s grounded in development and intensity that’s just noise.
Productive intensity is specific. It names what you did wrong and what you need to do instead. “You’re three yards too high - drop to the 25 and hold” is coaching. “What are you doing out there?” is just frustration.
Productive intensity is about the action, not the person. “That pass needs to be out in front of her next time” is different from “You always make bad decisions under pressure.”
Productive intensity includes belief. The best intense coaches let you know they’re pushing you because they believe you can handle it, not because they think you’re failing.
How to prepare yourself
If you want to play college hockey, you need to be able to receive intense coaching about controllable things.
That means practicing now.
When your club coach corrects your positioning, do you adjust immediately or do you get defensive?
When someone challenges your effort level, can you hear it without shutting down?
When feedback is direct - not mean, just direct - does it motivate you or deflate you?
The players who transition smoothly to college are the ones who’ve learned to separate “my coach is challenging me” from “my coach doesn’t believe in me.”
They understand that intensity about controllables isn’t personal. It’s developmental.
The ones who struggle are the ones who’ve only been coached gently. Who’ve been celebrated more than challenged. Who interpret any direct feedback as an attack.
What to watch for on your visits
Don’t just watch the coach. Watch the players.
Do they respond to intensity, or do they retreat from it?
Do they speak highly of their coach when she’s not in the room?
Can they articulate specific things they’ve learned?
Do they connect with each other, or are they isolated?
These signals tell you more than any 10-second viral clip ever could.
Because intensity isn’t the issue. The question is whether that intensity connects with players and serves their development.
Or whether it just makes the coach feel better while the players try to survive.
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