The questions that get past the sales pitch
Five questions that reveal coaching reality (and the red flag vs. green flag answers you need to listen for)
On Tuesday, I wrote about the gap between highlight reels and reality in college athletics.
Programs show you championship moments. They don’t show you the daily grind.
But if 99% of your experience happens away from the cameras, how do you actually evaluate what that 99% will feel like?
This is the hardest part of recruiting to get right because coaches are selling you a vision during the process, and you won’t see the reality until you’re already committed.
But there are questions you can ask coaches and observations you can make that reveal what life will actually be like when the recruiting pitch is over.
Here’s how to evaluate the other half of the story.
The recruiting vs reality gap
The coach you meet during recruiting is often performing a role. They’re selling the program. They’re on their best behavior. They’re being the version of themselves they want you to see.
That’s not deceptive - it’s just reality. Everyone presents their best self during the courtship phase.
But once you’re on the team, the performance ends. You see who they actually are when:
The team is losing
A player makes the same mistake for the third time
Someone is struggling academically
Conflicts arise between teammates
Pressure mounts during a tight season
That’s when you learn who your coach really is.
The question is: Can you figure this out before you commit?
The questions that reveal coaching reality
Most recruiting conversations include softball questions:
“What’s your coaching philosophy?”
“How would you describe the team culture?”
“What are you looking for in recruits?”
Coaches have polished answers to these. They’ve said them a hundred times. You need questions they haven’t rehearsed.