Why your recruiting has gone quiet (and what to do about it)
How to restart stalled recruiting conversations
It's been over three weeks since June 15.
And things have gotten... quieter.
Those exciting first conversations have slowed down. Coaches who were texting regularly have gone silent.
Initially, this feels like relief. However, you might also wonder if you said something wrong.
Welcome to the recruiting "settling period."
The Virtual Relationship Problem
Here's what's happening: both you and college coaches are managing multiple relationships simultaneously through screens only. No in-person contact is allowed until August 1.
It’s almost like online dating - virtual back-and-forth until you decide who you want to see in person.
You're trying to stay connected with 8-10 programs. They're trying to build relationships with 15-20 recruits.
Everyone's wondering: "Should I text first?"
Remember: coaches do this every year. You're doing it for the first time.
But that doesn't mean you don’t have agency to drive the conversation.
Am I Being Ghosted?
An unfortunate part of the recruiting process is that coaches might initially show interest and make you feel wanted, only for the communication to fall off a cliff.
Worst case scenario - this might be because they’ve found a player they prefer.
But it could be more innocent; maybe they went on vacation, or have switched some of their focus to planning their pre-season.
You can’t know… unless you ask! Here’s how to do it.
Restarting a Stalled Conversation
This is simpler than you think.
One way is to begin with a bit of small talk - we’ve just had the July 4 holiday, so ask what they got up to and share what you and your family did.
Another route might be to ask something about their program you’ve been curious about, but perhaps didn’t get to on your last call.
We’re right between the two biggest events of the field hockey summer - the National Club Championships and Nexus Championships.
If you’re taking part, you could share something you learned, or something you are working on at practice that you’re hoping to use.
This reconnection text doesn’t have to be perfect - it’s more about what happens next.
It should prompt the coach towards some action, and you get a data point in how enthusiastic their response is, or whether they respond at all.
One Thing That Works
Set a reminder to reach out to each target program every 10-14 days with something specific:
A thoughtful question about their program
An update about skill development they'd care about
A personal check-in
Plans for upcoming events where they might see you
Reality Check
Don't wait for coaches to text first. Don't assume silence means disinterest.
Take ownership of building these relationships through the virtual phase.
The programs that are right for you will appreciate your initiative.
This period between June 15 and August 1 isn't maintenance mode - it's building mode.
🚨 Class of 2027 🚨 - If you're looking for deeper help in this area, try The Commitment Countdown, a 75-minute video course with actionable frameworks for navigating coach conversations, decoding true intentions, and confidently handling offers.
🏑 Come work with me! 🏑 - I’ll be in Hummelstown, PA on July 20 running some small group clinics alongside Villanova’s Corey Mayer. 1:5 player to coach ratio, and you tell us what you want to work on. Check it out!